New relationships form, old relationships rebuild and current relationships grow in ways you never imagined.
When wounds heal and scabs start falling off, fresh skin is exposed.. Sensations you thought you were so familiar with become new. And of course, you get another chance at being cut again. Particularly so if you're too fond of roller coasters.
You think you're wiser now. Maybe you are. But life remains the wiser one among us.
It was nice, seeing Sir Williams again. When you love someone that much, it never completely leaves you, but you grow up and learn that enough is enough. After too much pain, one tends to learn some. Forgiveness is a gift much needed and appreciated.
But not all lessons are learned. Because, again, I'm in an open relationship.
But unlike before, things are different.
And like before, I believe it will all work out.
This time, I'm in a relationship. I'm not single. I go out and meet people and have fun. So does J. Dorian.
I met Alex five months ago in the (sometimes) wonderful realm called The Internet. Living timezones away, meeting was not even on the script. Many things were not on the script. And no, we never met. And yes, I learned to love and care for him. More than I thought was even possible. I was out to have fun. I never thought he'd be able to penetrate the million layers of protective spells my complicated life cast on me. The irony is, it wasn't even the romantic kind of love and caring. In a different setting, it could have, maybe -- I wouldn't know, I never had to look that way. What I felt for him surpassed labels. I simply loved, cared and thought I connected. I thought I found someone I could trust, unlike the way I never did. I never will.
I guess it was all my own fantasy painted on someone else's life. I just wanted a friend.
I've had too many boyfriends, but never that friend. It hurts to wake up and realise it was just a dream.
I've had too many boyfriends, and after six years I was confronted by this question again: To love or be loved? From that time, I tired of loving too much and jumped into the hands of J. Dorian who loves me more than possible. And despite every warning he gave me about giving too much to Alex, he welcomed me in his arms and let me cry all night. He knows me too well, he let's me go and welcomes me back.
