A road trip to Subic with my then soon-to-be-ex-bf marked the beginning of this adventure. The beginning of the realization that a chapter in my not-so-glamorous life is about to end.

Subic : May 10-11
With then soon-to-be-ex-bf and his family.
The birthday of his niece, the girl who played a vital role in keeping us together the past five years.
Mother's day, and missing the mother who passed, and loved my then soon-to-be-ex-bf so much.
The days before our supposedly fifth anniversary.
The days before the day we've planned to break up.

It was in Subic that I realized that neither of us were backing out on the proposed break up. Of course, I kept on hoping otherwise.

Close to a month after, an out of the blue invite from friends (a couple and another who's also nursing a broken heart) to go to Ilocos opened up another adventure.

Urdaneta, Sta. Maria, Vigan, Laoag, Pagudpud : June 7-11
A plan that wasn't.
A tiny bag for what I thought was for two nights.
The first trip I took without my family or a boyfriend.
A trip that cleared a lot of thoughts.
A trip that proved a lot.

It was in Urdaneta that I learned to trust life. It was in Sta. Maria that I learned to relax. It was in Vigan that I learned to love life. It was in Laoag that I learned about myself and some particularly special people. It was in Pagudpud that I learned how beautiful friends are.


Friday the thirteenth at Metrowalk was a great night out with friends, which led to the dawn of this adventure.

Cavite : June 14-15
A sequel to the Iloco's Roadies.
An opportunity to know my friends more.
A lot of meaningful conversations.
A lot of realizations.
A lot of hopeful views for tomorrow.

I went home exhausted with a smile on my face.


A thought insistingly ran through my head. I just had to know. Soon. I had to see him. I had to be with him. I had to know. What I had to know, I didn't even know. I just knew I had to be with him. ASAP.

Nueva Ecija : June 17-18
I dared myself to travel alone.
I followed my heart.
I experienced him.
I was with him, and at that moment, it was everything that mattered.

It was in Nueva Ecija that I let my heart soar without thought. Freedom. Happiness. Probably... Love.

"You know, this isn't the first time this has happened to me;
this love sick thing
I like serious relationships and a...
A girl like me don't stay single for long,
'cuz everytime a boyfriend and I break up,
my world is crushed and I'm all alone,
the love bug crawls right back up and bites me and I'm back!"

-Fergie in Clumsy

Blabz III

Lady Schwarz to Sir William Pennybanks:
"You have the power to make me the happiest girl in the world, you also have the ability to hurt me the most."

BUS & Blabz II: Paradox of Hatred and Peace

A huge fight happened the day after my birthday. I guess all the hatred in my heart just had to get out and stab him on all sides. So did his anger.

It all happened online. The biggest fonts, and the MOST NUMBER OF UPPERCASE LETTERS you could find in a single chat conversation, you'd find it there. Top that with foul and vulgar words. The decision to cut all ties was made. The finality of everything hurt.

He decided to return his keys to my house, and pick up his stuff on the day I was supposed to be celebrating my birthday. Very considerate.

I was strong. A few drops of tears were there, but I had to be strong.

I had a party to organize. Irony.

...

I had my sisters. My step father was there. Party planning... That helped a lot. I'm moving on...

Until a tall, handsome man arrived uninvited, with a huge bouquet of wild flowers.

...

Yes, that kagwapuhan was him; the guy who couldn't care less.

BULLSHIT! After harassing me with his words. He woos me again with them.

Lady Schwarz:
"What are you doing? What the FCUK are you doing?"

He said he wasn't trying to come back. He said he just wanted to apologize for what he did.

I cried. Of course, I cried! It hurt! It hurt so much to see him again. It hurt to even smell him!

He sat there beside me. Just quiet.

The honesty was still there. The love, the truth, and despite what previously happened, the respect.

He hugged me, he was there to comfort. And as much as I knew it was wrong, I let him kiss me. It felt okay. The sexual chemistry, it was still there all right. But I really was moving on...

He didn't stay for my party. I had the time of my life with my friends that night. I was happy. Content.